Here are the first few paragraphs of my Monday column after the grand finale of the U.S. Open:


Congratulations to Webb Simpson for winning the 112th U.S. Open Golf and Masochism Tournament played at the Olympic Club in San Francisco.

He started Sunday four shots back but he shot a splendid 68 and passed the leader, Jim Furyk, who did not shoot a single birdie on Sunday. Simpson showed poise and guts, considering he’s only 26.

In case you never heard of Simpson before this Open — and, come on, many of you never ever heard of him — this we know. He is ranked 14th in the world. He tied for 44th in the Masters. He has won three PGA tournaments and one major — the 2012 Open. He lives in North Carolina and he attended Wake Forest and on the back nine he was so nervous he couldn’t feel his legs and he’s married to a pretty blonde named Dowd and he’s a good kisser.

To read the entire column, click here.