I’m home now from New York and it’s very hot here in the Oakland hills. Grant and I had lots of fun. We ate at Delizia in the Upper East Side, Sammy’s Noodle Shop in the Village, Becco on W. 46th Street and Striga on the Upper West Side with my cousin Alison.

I love New York for how the people talk — how I talk. So here are three snippets which killed me. I hope you enjoy them.

1. Grant and I are walking in Midtown and a guy tries to park in front of a building and the doorman says, “You can’t park here. I got a motorcade coming.”

2. I’m eating lunch at the Jets game and from another table I hear one guy say, “No way Alice Cooper belongs in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.”

3. Grant and I leave our hotel room about noon on Saturday. Two maids are in the corridor. I say we’ll be out all afternoon. One maid says, “I was going out, but now I have to clean your room because you’re leaving.” I say, “What, do you have date?” The other maid looks at me and says, “Do you wanna talk?” Grant blushes. I say, “This is my son and I love my wife.” The maid smiles.

I love New Yawk tawk.

It took us an hour and a half to drive back to Manhattan from the Meadowlands. It takes a long time to get to the toll booth at the Washington Bridge. Finally, Grant said get off this thing. He has an app that shows roads and he directed me through a Jersey town right to the toll booth and we zipped right through. The toll cost 12 bucks.