A Press Democrat Blog

Cohn Zohn

Lowell Cohn's pertinent and impertinent take on sports

Jack Nicklaus and Lowell Cohn ain’t got class

Here is the opening to my Friday column leading up to the U.S. Open: I’m gonna write what I’m about to write because I ain’t got no class. You got dat? I’m writing about golf, something I don’t often do. And when you write about golf, a sport just dripping with class, it helps if you got class yourself. Which I don’t. That was the opening of my Open column and if the grammar wasn’t exactly precise, I apologize. To… Read More »

Lowell offers blanket apology

I want you to know I apologize. I apologize for everything. Here’s the deal. Several readers have demanded I apologize to Trent Baalke, Alex Smith and Jim Harbaugh for doubting them, although I don’t think I doubted Harbaugh. They demand I apologize for criticizing them, etc. Why Baalke and the others need an apology from me I don’t know. But OK, I apologize. And while I’m apologizing to them I want to apologize to my third grade teacher Mrs. Abbey… Read More »

What month are the 49ers in?

We all know the 49ers have suffered more than other teams because of the lockout. Other teams have continuity but the Niners have a new coach and a new offensive system not to mention a new defensive system. When training camp started coach Jim Harbaugh went to great pains to explain that his team was behind. If training camp was July, the Niners were in March or something like that. Great excuse. Great use of the calendar, Jim. So here’s… Read More »

On the bubble

This time of the football year writers write that so-and-so is on the bubble. My kid wrote that today on his blog. Here’s what I want to know. What exactly does on the bubble mean? Please don’t explain to me that it means a guy is vulnerable and may get cut. I understand that. What I’m asking is what kind of bubble is that and how does a bubble relate to almost getting cut? Bubble? Does it mean the bubble… Read More »

Is Harbaugh a paranoiac Part Deux

I spoke to several people who attended the 49ers’ “open-to-the-public” practice on Thursday. Jim Harbaugh ran his practice on the field farthest away from the fans which, naturally, made it hard for the fans to see. In addition, many players stood between the fans and the practice — perhaps a coincidence — but that made seeing the practice even more difficult for fans. You invite fans to a practice and then treat them like that? In my world that is… Read More »

Lowell vs. Jim Harbaugh, really?

Very spirited here today on the Zohn. I love the give and take and appreciate how fierce all of you are but also how polite we keep things on the Zohn So, here’s another thought of mine and then, please, have at it. Some Zohners say I am down on Jim Harbaugh or don’t like him or refuse to give him a chance. I don’t believe that’s true. Here’s where I am coming from. First or all, I endorsed Harbaugh… Read More »

Should Lowell feel embarrassed re: Zito?

Barry Zito has won 3 games and predictably Zohn readers are getting on me for saying Zito doesn’t stand a chance in hell of winning more than 5 1/2 games this season. I’ts like I committed a sin or broke a law. I made the remark on Comcast TV, and still stand by it. He pitched well against the Cubs and Padres, no great feat. I don’t believe he will keep this up. We’ve seen this before, a few good… Read More »

Are you a sexsmith?

It’s late Sunday night and Mrs. Cohn Zohn and I just returned from a jaunt to Kelowna, British Columbia. Have you heard of it? We went for a wedding. The son of my friend Bill Gairdner married a lovely young lady from Kelowna — a Kelownian? (Bill and I shared an office at the Stanford English Dept. sometime in the Middle Ages.) I’ll tell you more about my adventures in Kelowna tomorrow, but before I go to bed I want… Read More »

Statistical proof Giants and A’s can’t hit: or how I gave myself a migraine

I never do stats, except for this morning. I did stats. Grant let me into the beauty of OPS+. Millions of people know about OPS+ and even consider it outdated. Me, I’m not into stats and don’t know from OPS+. I wrote my Tuesday column about OPS+ and what it reveals about the Giants and A’s and how bad their hitting truly is. I still can’t believe I wrote about anything with a code name OPS+, but to read my… Read More »

Why I don’t like the semicolon

KauaiRobert, Stan and Neal — my faithful readers. This is not a sports blog, so please be warned. It is about the semicolon. It really is. Turn back now if you are not interested. This topic has been on my mind the last two days — why I don’t like the semicolon and why I almost never use it. I’m not good at grammar, but to the best of my ability I don’t see what the semicolon accomplishes. I believe… Read More »