As the Cohn Zohn’s official Southern California representative, I attended Rick Neuheisel’s regular Monday press conference at the J.D. Morgan center at UCLA Monday. Since UCLA is playing Stanford this weekend, I felt our readers might like to know what the enemy’s thinking. That’s why I brought a brand new $45 digital tape recorder with me to the event, in order make absolutely certain that I recorded each word Neuheisel uttered with state-of-the-art clarity and precision, so that I could in turn transcribe his answers perfectly, and provide you, the loyal Cohn-Zohner, with the immaculate interview transcription – the type of thing you’re used to getting from a top-flight blog like the Cohn Zohn.

As Neuheisel sat down, I approached his little podium with a brisk stride and a professional smile, placed the $45 digital recorder in front of him, smiled, nodded, and walked back to my chair. At the time I felt triumphant. Fifteen minutes later, as I sat down in the library to get to business, I realized I forgot to press Record. Rookie mistake.

Of course, I called my father and editor right away to alert him of the blunder. He told me not to worry, that I’m still learning, and that I’m going to make mistakes, but what’s important is I showed my face and gained a little experience, and that I could probably watch the interview later on the internet, and that he still loved me. That really made me feel better.

So I gathered myself and found the video. Here’s the best part of the interview: a reporter asks Neuheisel why starting quarterback Kevin Craft is locking onto receivers with his eyes, to which Neuheisel responds:

“It really comes down to the organization of your feet. If your feet are organized, in terms of going from choice one to choice two to choice three, then your eyes will follow. Now, when you really get going is when your eyes are ahead of your feet. Your eyes are going before your feet so that you don’t have to take the extra step to throw at what now you perceived as the open receiver. Kevin right now gets a play and he hears the play and he’s got this reservoir of experiences that have happened on that play, and if it’s a play that’s designed maybe to start with Ryan Moya, he looks at Ryan Moya and gives Ryan Moya chance two and chance three rather than going through the progression. It happens to all young players because that’s where their last completion was. So we’ve just got to get him to trust all the way through.”

That’s a long way of saying something very simple. Neuheisel was really telling the Cardinal, “My team, which can’t run the ball, has a quarterback who only looks at one receiver per play.” Even on the road, Stanford should have no problem beating UCLA, a team with no rushing or passing game. And it’s not like UCLA has much of a home-field advantage right now either. They lose all the time, and a lot of students choose not to take the hour-long bus ride to Pasadena to see their school lose repeatedly.

Even I won’t be in the student section. I’ll be in the press box, and then in the locker room after the game, getting the inside scoop with my digital recorder for you, the Cohn-Zohners. Now if I can just remember to press Record.

— Iggy