In case you don’t know it, Tiger Woods got in trouble in Dubai. Sunday, he missed a putt on the 12th green and while he knelt there thinking whatever, he turned his head to the right and hawked a loogie. The TV announcer called the act “disgusting” and bemoaned the fate of the poor golfer who had to putt over Tiger’s saliva as if the saliva was radioactive. Tiger is likely to be fined for letting the spit rip.

All of which proves Tiger is in the wrong sport. Golf is all about class and sometimes phony class. Tiger should have been a baseball player. If he were, say, Barry Bonds he could spit to his heart’s content and announcers and fans would think it was good. Or he could grab his crotch in plain sight or roll around in dirt and no one would mind. Golf is entirely too prissy for a red-blooded American male like Tiger. Now he’s degraded golf forever. Can Western culture survive?