Here is selected out-of-this-world dialog from today’s Bonds trial, lawyers asking Kimberly Bell questions:

Q: Did Bonds seem different in his testicles and penis area after taking steroids?

Yes. His testicles got smaller and a different shape and he had some trouble keeping an erection.

Did you talk to the defendant about acne on his back?

He would ask me if I would help him clear it up.

Describe your early relationship with Barry Bonds.

From where it began to ‘98 it was progressing nicely. We did a lot of normal things people in a relationship do.

How often did he call you 1994-98?

At work he called so often I was asked to get my own phone.

Were you in love with him?

Yes

Think of getting married?

He said he probably wouldn’t get married again.

Something happened in 1998 that changed the relationship.

He married his current wife, Elizabeth

Prior to 1998 were you aware of Elizabeth?

1997 was when he first told me.

Tell us the conversation.

He told me one day he was going to get married. He had said he’d never get married again. I didn’t know who she was. She lived in Canada. It hurt but he said nothing would change in our relationship.

Where did you see the defendant go in the bedroom with Mr. Anderson (to take steroids)?

Yes, in spring training.

Just one year?

Two of the spring trainings

More than once in one year?

Yes.

Number of times?

If I was there 5 days I saw it 3 of 5 days

Bell was asked about an angry email:

“The next line is about the ugly whore in Vegas. Did you say that?

Yes

But you weren’t angry?

No I was mentioning an ugly whore in Vegas.