I am watching the Giants game on television and they just showed the beloved Barry Bonds, that paragon of virtue, sitting in the box seats. The beloved Barry looked well and his face was a lot thinner than I remember it being. I just can’t imagine why.

Maybe he went on a diet.

Maybe he’s become a vegan.

Maybe he’s working out more.

Maybe it’s an optical illusion.

I’m stumped.

I wonder if any of you can tell me why the beloved Barry’s face seems so much thinner.